Friends

When reconnecting with old contact, acknowledge time lapse

Nitya Sai Soumya

In this digital age, identifying useful contacts and expanding the network is easy. In fact all this so familiar that everyone has some tips for others. However, only a few people understand the importance of keeping the network alive and manage to do it. What is the point in having a ‘close to thousand' contact list, if you cannot ask the perfect person for help because you have not spoken to him for ages!

In a busy world, losing touch is bound to happen. With tight schedules, impending deadlines, and unexpected emergencies keeping you exhausted all the time, catching up with old friends takes a backseat. So popping up before one now, because you need him, makes you feel guilty.

Take a close look at everyday life and you realise that these situations more frequent than you think.

Fortunately, it is possible to reconnect with people even after a long gap. You need not let go a valuable contact because of the time lapse. And if you are intending to reach out to a person about a job opportunity, relocation or career shift, here is how you can make the reconnection less uncomfortable and potentially successful:

Choose right medium: Social media is a great platform to reconnect with people. But it works only to the extent of being in touch. Connections through the medium lack exchange of intimacy and seem impersonal.

So, if you are intending to build a good relationship, it is better you meet the person, do not leave him messages but talk to him in person. Invite him for a cup of coffee or dinner. In case he lives far away from you, call him or write a mail.

Make the attempt: To some extent, the other person is also responsible for the time lapse. Moreover, he too could be looking forward to opportunities to improve his relationships with his contacts.

So, do not hesitate to reach out to a long neglected friend. He might be actually excited to get back in touch with you and appreciate that you started the renewal process. Also most people feel complimented to know that their connections still remember them and consider them suitable to seek help.

Acknowledge the gap: When trying to reconnect with an old contact, first acknowledge the time lapse. You both know it exists; you cannot proceed without addressing it. So talk about it frankly and honestly. Tell what kept you occupied all this time. But d o not offer it as an excuse.

Be genuine: Be genuine about the kind of relationship you share with the person. Be transparent about the reason behind your attempts to reconnect. Do not act like his best buddy and pretend to care for him when you are reconnecting with the person after some years. Do not try to hide your agenda beating around the bush. The success of a reconnection depends on how tactfully you handle the question “why now?” Do not be surprised, annoyed and discouraged if at all you get a negative response.

Offer help: Whether the other person obliges to your request or not do offer him your help. Tell him that he can feel free to approach you whenever he is in need and that you are willing to support him to the extent possible. Stick to this promise. This approach creates a positive opinion of you on the person and marks the beginning of a promising relationship between you. He might reciprocate your help some other time in future.

Getting in touch with a person after a long gap is a difficult task, especially if you need a favour from him. However, if your approach is genuine, your chances of success are good enough.

Nitya Sai Soumya

faqs@cnkonline.com

http://www.thehindu.com/todays-paper/tp-features/tp-opportunities/article968657.ece